Don’t have any fucks to give


So I’ve always been that type of person to care too much about how people feel about me or to be considerate of people’s feelings or to feel the need to apologise and make amends when I have wronged them… But lately, I have realised that I no longer want to give a shit. You see, the thing is, if people are going to judge me for suddenly being this bitch, they may continue doing so and forming opinions of me. It is then I know why I shouldn’t care, it’s because if they were really my friends to begin with, they wouldn’t judge, they would accept and if they can’t accept, they would sit down and talk to me nicely out of concern instead of judging.
I have cared way too much and I have held in way too much, and I really don’t give a shit anymore. Even if there are consequences to my action of just simply not giving a shit, so be it, I’ll learn but right now this feels right to me.
Why should I continue to allow people to push me over?
Why should I be a victim of past mistakes?
Why should I be led on to believe they still care when they don’t? And really, it is quite obvious. Who do they take me for? Someone stupid?
I’m no fool, I can tell very clearly when people just simply don’t care and it really bugs me when people act like they do. The pretense bugs me because if you’re gonna secretly hate me, you mind as well be outright about it. It is highly likely that I no longer value their opinions anymore to be bothered by it.
Yes this is an angsty post because something must have happened in my life (probably through an accumulation of a series of bullshit people give me) for me to really stop caring and throw caution to the wind about my actions. People who know me know that I have quite a high tolerance for bullshit “friends” give me and I will always place myself in the party that was at fault just because I believe in apologising first but that doesn’t mean I don’t have limits. I have tried to make amends, I have tried to preserve friendships that I’ve lost, I have made efforts and these people still string me on and pretend to care about preserving it when no, they actually wanna fuck me over. So I have really given up on caring anymore and feeling sad about it. I am moving on in life and I am no longer giving a shit about them. I have shut the door close. Judge for all you want, if that is your entertainment in life, you really have no life then.


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