Times have changed

Do you remember doing those quizzes in the form of notes that were once trending on Facebook? Well, I was looking through all of mine yesterday, man, I was really addicted to those in the past. I guess I pretty much needed that much time killers, that’s kinda sad. Well, anyway, I came across this one quiz which you had to go to a website for, to copy and paste those answers. I wanted to see if much has changed about myself so I attempted it again. I don’t truly believe in those quizzes as much anymore but it was interesting to see how I have chosen my answers differently that led to different responses.

The answers in black were done on March 31 2009, and the ones in red, are the results I got today -July 26 2014.

5 years have gone by.

 

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They’ll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that’s why you’ll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

You are very serious about relationships and aren’t interested in wasting time with people you don’t really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don’t succeed. Don’t give up when you haven’t yet even started! Be courageous.

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don’t succeed. Don’t give up when you haven’t yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It’s time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Well, most of the answers are pretty much the same. Reading these two answers side by side makes me feel somewhat weird. Like the past me sounded so much more wiser, more down-to-earth. I mean, you would think that as you grow older, you’d grow wiser right? But somehow, I don’t really like the responses this time. I know it’s not a 100% true and definitive of my personality, but there is some truth there. I won’t lie, in the past, I wasn’t too concerned about my image and now I am because it gets pretty hard being real when this world gets crazier. A lot of these emotional wounds have somehow shaped my life – sometimes with wisdom in understanding situations, other times, in fear and feeling forced to make decisions based on fear.

I think when it come to love, it is no surprise that the way I see commitment and relationships now are very different because I have been in a long term relationship for 5 years now and things are different. The one that surprised me the most were the questions about fear, and self-image. I would have loved to retain some of that wisdom and maturity of my 17 year old self but fear holds me back. I used to be quick to defend people – I was pretty righteous when it came to things like that, I didn’t care what people thought of me, I didn’t care if I was hated or liked for what I did. Now, I consciously find myself very afraid that if I stood up for something I believe in, like religion for example, I would be made fun of or doubted. I guess with the loss of many dear friendships in the past 5 years, a lot has shaped my decisions to be made out of fear. Did my tough love go too far? Did my “righteousness” go too far? Where is this grey area? Why is mine only of black and whites.

I guess I no longer speak out passionately for what I stand up for because I dislike awkward, tensed conversations of conflicting points of view. I just feel like I would do away with drama, but isn’t there a balance of such? No drama, but realness?

If 5 years have made me this fearful of people, of the world, of life, what more another 5 more years? Will I just keep hiding my true self?

I wish I could watch my life in chronological timeline like a video. I wish I could observe me own change that way. I keep making films like that in film school and I struggle with “my story” because I no longer know what I keep buried deep down. Am I suppose to acknowledge that anyway? I mean, it sounds so depressing doesn’t it? But it makes me question, have I buried it so deep that my lies have become truths to me?

I find myself constantly questioning, but never getting those answers. I don’t really want to dig so deep into the surface of my heart because life seems pretty good right now but yet, I want to because I am curious. How can anyone forget their own story?

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