Dear Suzie,

I am pretty scared to lose you. That is an understatement.

Although I know that life goes on and eventually this day will come, and I will grieve, and I will move on; I cannot deny the fact that the impact you have made in my life is so great. I do not know how else to prepare myself for this day to come, and I don’t really want to. Because preparing for it only means I expect it to be much sooner, and I don’t want that to be. If I could wish to have you alive for as long as I live, I would, but there’s a reason why lives are taken away at that very moment.

My only wish is for you to go without fear and pain when that time comes, that peace will be with you in that very moment when death calls. The second thing is, let me know when that day is coming because I know you sense things. And the last, allow me to say my goodbyes before you close your eyes forever because I want you to hear and feel how much I have loved you and how I will always love you. That losing you when that moment comes is the most painful heartbreak my heart will ever have to go through.

I do not know how to say goodbye to you, I really don’t want to. But I know what reality is like, it’s a bitch. You journeyed with me for a huge chunk of my life, and never once have you abandoned me in my times of need or when I felt so alone, I can’t say goodbye to you because I wish I had a whole lifetime with you to show you exactly how much I am so grateful for you. And 10 years, 12 years, 16 years is not enough for me.

Every time I try to forget the fact that you will leave us in years to come, I am reminded of the fact that you are no longer at your peak and the fear creeps up again. It is pretty ridiculous to start crying for you now when you are still very much alive and here, but the pain of thinking that it is bound to happen in years to come is hard to ignore. 

Know that I love you more than I could ever tell you or show you, and that you are more than a dog or a pet to me; you are a wonderful lady and the bestest friend I will ever, ever have in my entire lifetime and that every day I get with you is a blessing in my life. I am so grateful to be blessed with your presence in my life. I love you.


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