“Closing The Cycle
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.”
– Paulo Coelho
At 23, I’ve realised one thing – you really cannot control the situations in your life. You cannot control how people will think of you, or why certain friends leave, why people cannot accept you as you are and why you can’t be loved fiercely. You can only control yourself – how you choose to respond, how you deal with it.
I think that it’s quite apt that on my birthday (yesterday), I will be going through another round of metamorphosis. I know the process of change is always a tough one but necessary and I am willing to embrace that. I’ve deleted my instagram account because it is now part of my past. It no longer served the purpose of what it was supposed to be. I have been caught up in the whole trend of posting photos that will only garner more likes because it’s pretty and not because I truly want to share good memories. Instagram has also been a place where people have excluded me out on purpose (whether it may sound petty to some people, that’s how I feel) and because I no longer want to feel that way, it’s best I leave and delete the entire account so I will never see it.
It is possible that I might return under a different username next time when things start getting better for myself. For now, I have other more important matters to work on and I cannot let things let Instagram and Facebook get in the way of that. So once I’ve backed up all my stuff on Facebook, I will be deleting that too and creating a new account where I actually know everyone on my friends list.
It’s time to say goodbye to this cycle.