On a loop

It’s just a 15s video on Instagram, but I keep watching it over and over again in a loop because it’s you. It’s as if I can control it – the video ending.

It’s just a video of you running towards my camera and it ends with just your stubby tail moving out of frame. In those last few seconds, I wish I can just pause the moment so you won’t escape my sight. I almost want to grasp that moment so tightly but I can’t hold on to it. That’s the thing about moments – it’s short. I can only catch a glimpse of your smile on your furry face and then it’s gone.

So I just keep replaying it on a loop because I almost want to rewind it back to when that moment was captured. I want to hear your little bell ringing as you run towards me and I want to feel the brush of your fur against my hand as you exit my frame.

Am I crazy? It’s been half a year and I still speak of you as if you just left us yesterday. I hope heaven has some space for me – because wherever you are, that’s where I’m hoping to be.